Her War, Her Voice!

How can you keep doing this? Why do you do this website? Why would you put yourself out there like that? Why do you care? I get these questions every now and again from people that do not have that call to help. I usually say “because there is a need,” or that “it helps me too.”

The more I am ask the more I wonder why myself? Here is why: I care.

My husband has been in 17 years with Reserve and National Guard time. He has 6 more active years before he retires, and the Army is my family. So I care.

I care that the FRG’s are struggling to handle everything that is thrown at them. I care that these volunteers are faced with much more then getting information from the commander to the families. That they are not professionally trained to deal with the emotional needs of their members, and that the members want everything handed to them without pitching in.

I care that the first deployment spouse has no idea what is in store for her or him. I care that the second, third, fourth, and eighth deployment spouses continue to struggle in silence while putting on a brave face. I care that these are my friends and the people that I love, even when I am hundreds or thousands of miles away.

I care that our spouses are not coming home the same. I care that we feel like strangers most of the time, and when we finally get use to them again, we have to say goodbye. Again. I care that some never return, and I fear that that will be mine the next time.

I care that we have a suicide rate that is climbing daily. And I care that it is our spouses and us that are adding to this increase. I care that we are fighting depression issues, and I am amazed that we still tell each other to “suck it up.”

I care that the military is trying to help, and most of us are too proud or stubborn to seek that help out. Whether it is counseling or childcare, we do not look for ourselves as to what is being offered, or how it could help. I care that we all think that we can do this alone, and many of us are, but at what cost? I care about the cost.

I care that there are many silent heroes helping their neighbors, watching each others kids, mowing lawns, and taking care of each other when they are sick. I care that there are bonds being forged that may never be needed again, but will always be there, just in case.

I care that we talk about each others issues without offering help. I care that people still think that rank matters amongst the spouses, and I care that we let this get in the way of helping each other. I care that we like to sit back and complain without doing something about it.

So, even though my Soldier is home and not scheduled to go back to war, yet, and I don’t feel like I have much to say, I care. And because of that I will continue to stand beside each and every one of you until they are all home, and you don’t need someone to care.