Poetry and military life have a long history. Sometimes the greatest sentiments can be wrapped up in the smallest amount of words. Please welcome, Cindy.
Being an Army Wife is…
Deployments and long separations
Feeling brittle but trying to stay strong
Waiting days just to hear his voice
Hurting but smiling on the outside
Lonely nights, sleepless nights, sacrifices
Waking up with a knot in your stomach
Praying every night that God will keep your soldier safe
Praying every morning that God will give you
*** The strength you need to get through the day
Looking at pictures just to see his face, his smile
Constant nerves and feeling fearful
Staying busy to occupy your mind
Wondering when you’ll hear from him next
Getting excited planning his next care package
Snacks and goodies piled high on the table
*** Ready to send off in the next 5 care packages
Curling up on the couch to write his next letter – the old-fashioned kind
*** Page after page – showing your feelings, love, and support
Struggling to “be there” when you’re 6,000 miles away
Finding strength you didn’t know you had
Taking it day by day
Constantly waiting –
*** Waiting by the phone for his call
*** Waiting by the computer for him to sign online
*** Waiting for his letters to arrive
*** Waiting to hear he’s okay today
Being proud but being scared
Trying not to show your fear
Letting him know that you’re there for him
Reassuring him you’re okay even when your world feels like it could Crumble
*** At any moment
Random memories that bombard your brain at all times of the day and night,
*** Making you both smile and want to cry at the same time
Wanting to talk, to vent, to let it all out
But knowing so few really understand
Getting teary-eyed when you see an American flag blowing in the breeze
*** Or at the sound of the National Anthem
Finding relief in walking, writing, or whatever works for you
Being annoyed at people who complain about all the trivial things in their lives
Crying when you hear another soldier was wounded or killed,
*** Even though it wasn’t your own,
*** Even though you didn’t know him or her
Being worried, then sad, then mad, then proud
*** And repeating the whole gambit of emotions
*** As though you are stuck on the spin cycle of a washing machine
Wishing you could feel useful
Not wanting to watch the news
But wanting to all the same
*** For a sense of connection – or something else you can’t quite explain – to your husband half a World away
Running the household and keeping everything in order
Paying the bills, mowing the lawn, fixing leaky faucets, shoveling snow
Getting done what needs to be done
Sleeping with the phone by your bed
*** And your laptop within an arm’s reach
Not minding a 4 A.M. wake-up call when it’s your only day to sleep in
*** Because just hearing his voice puts your mind at ease
Hating the war and the people who put us in it
But knowing he’s fighting to help other people
Knowing he’s someone else’s best hope for a better tomorrow
Knowing he is a hero to many
*** Even when they fail to mention it
But wishing we didn’t have to be involved in someone else’s war
Wishing there was another way BESIDES war
Being angry at those who take him for granted
*** And those who criticize him or his profession
*** Though not one of them is half the man he is
*** Though not one of them would volunteer to take his place
Being grateful to those who express their gratitude for him and others like him
And being amazed that so many also acknowledge
*** The sacrifices of a soldier’s spouse
Having good days, bad days, and really bad days
Trying to keep a positive attitude and not let fear or worry overcome you
Rushing to check your email as soon as you enter the door
Running out the door the second the mailman is out of sight,
*** Hoping his next letter has arrived
Feeling as though you have struck gold when it has
Rereading his emails and letters as though trying to commit every word to memory
Jumping every time a car door slams outside,
Hoping it isn’t followed by a knock on your door
Praying you won’t miss his calls
And replaying his voicemails over and over when you do
Disappointment when you miss his calls, but knowing it meant he was thinking of you
Time crawling slowly, inching along
Knowing there will be tough days
*** But that the good days grow closer with the passing of time
Knowing each day apart brings you another day closer
*** To jumping into his arms
Waiting for the day that he’ll be in your arms
*** And for him to be yours again
Holding your breath until, at last, he comes safely home
When asked about herself, Cindy said:
I am a 5th grade teacher, drama club director/choreographer at our school, and army wife currently going through my first deployment (my husband’s second). I have a degrees in both education and psychology. Since we met, my husband and I have spent more time apart than together, and I am counting down the days until he is home again. We have four cats that keep me company while he is away, the youngest of which was our Christmas gift to each other this past year. I have always been fairly independent, living alone for a couple of years before I met my husband, but this deployment has been tough all the same; I think it is because I now know what I am missing. I am passing the time by staying busy (though that’s nothing new for me) and by finding quotes and blogs that I can relate to on the internet. I am a nature-lover, and I love camping, kayaking, biking, and skiing. I also enjoy dancing, reading, writing, and stalking the mailman for letters from my husband.
